Jehovah's Witness Glossary

Elder - (a) A man who has demonstrated unswerving loyalty to the WTBS by his works and who has been rewarded with the responsibility of "shepherding" over a Congregation; or
(b) A man who is able to hide his true personality and make the congregation believe he is a fine, understanding christian when he is not. This person wants to be an elder simply because of the power he has over others. This person's appointment proves positively that elders are not appointed by Holy Spirit.
Duties of an elder include shepherding (see "Shepherd") teaching, snooping, counseling, reprimanding, reproving, disfellowshipping and ocassionally, spying. Each Officially Approved "Elder's Kit" includes a "secret book", WTBS confidential "forms" to use and send directly to Headquarters Central, and a precision ruler, so be careful of your hair length, gentlemen, and the dress length of your wives!

Ministerial Servant - (a) a wannabe Elder who doesn't yet understand how Congregational politics work;
(b) a former Elder who pissed off another Elder or Elders who had more clout with the Circuit Overseer;
(c) See (b) above.

A Man Who Holds No Position of Reponsibility in the Congregation - One lucky guy. (see "Spiritually Weak".)

A Woman in the Congregation - "Keep your place, little lady. And don't forget that head covering, whether it be a tissue, or a book, or any other ridiculous thing you can find."