Jehovah's Witness Glossary

Street Work - A no-brainer and easy way to "put in your hours", while engaging in the latest juicy gossip with your friends. Just pick a spot, stand there and hope no one approaches you. If you are male, you get to watch the babes at the same time and if you see one that is especially good looking you can approach her and ask her if she wants a free Bible study. Be sure to starch your entire body before you try it out, though.

Kingdom Hall - A building used for Watchtower indoctrination. Could also be a place for fellowship, should anyone actually try to do that. Includes a specially constructed "star chamber" for committee meetings and a tamper-proof safe for the "Flock" book and documents under subpoena. Each Kingdom Hall also includes a back room, to which you will be summoned if you dare to break any of the many rules.

Assembly Hall - An opportunity to sit in one place for many hours and catch up on some much needed sleep, while they give speeches about the same old things you've heard a thousand times before.

The Catholic Church - For years considered by the Watchtower to be the worst of the worst in Christendom or "Babylon the Great". Attitude changed due to current "light", upon the interesting discovery that Watchtower and Roman Catholic Church leadership hierarchies are literally the same: priest-elder, monsignor-Circuit Overseer, bishop-District Overseer, Archbishop-Zone Overseer, Cardinal-Branch Servant, Pope- Governing Body, among a lot of other unique similarities. Not only is the Catholic Church no longer a "snare and a racket", it is being considered as a viable financial advisor to be utilized in protecting the vested interests of the Watchtower. While the Watchtower will never officially admit this, someone took the time to point out to the Watchtower that they lambasted the Catholics for changing their stance on the eating of meat on Fridays, but they themselves never apologized for their ever-changing stances on vaccinations, organ transplants, military service, and blood. No one ever died from not eating meat on Fridays. 'nough said. The Catholic Church is now: not so bad, after all. "Don't point out my skeletons, and I won't point out yours."

Revisionism - A practice frequently used, but regularly denied by the Watchtower.